5 Excuses We Need to Stop Using for Not Visiting a Loved One

10 May 2017

In the hustle and bustle of day to day life, it can be easy to get caught up in our own to-do list. When we finally do have free time, we most often just want to relax or spend it doing a hobby we enjoy. This cycle can lead to making excuses as to why you don’t want to or don’t need to visit an aging loved one. While this is something you can continue to put off day by day, when the time comes that the loved one passes on, the guilt and regret of not spending more time with them can be overwhelming.

Put an end to the bad habit of making excuses for not visiting a loved one. Start by refusing to accept these six common excuses!

I’m too busy.

Let’s face it. We are only ever as busy as we want to be. It’s about priorities. You need to prioritize visiting your loved one to make it happen. The visits don’t have to be long, in fact it’s often better if they aren’t. Rather, focus on the quality of the visit. Your loved one would rather see you more often, in smaller increments, that with huge spans of time in between.

I don’t know what to talk about.

If you haven’t visited with someone in a while, you may feel out of touch and at a loss as to what to talk about. Don’t let this be the reason you don’t visit! Rest assured that they would be perfectly content sitting in silence with your company, than not seeing you at all. Try showing them some recent pictures from your social media as a way to spark discussion. Read a book of poems or play their favorite card game. Any of these activities will help to break the ice and facilitate natural discussion.

They won’t remember.

First, you don’t know this to be true. Even if your loved one suffers from memory loss, on any certain day they could be capable of remembering all or part of your visit. Additionally, the memory of the visit isn’t just theirs, it’s yours as well! You will cherish these memories when your loved one passes on.

It makes me sad.

Seeing someone you remember as a young and vibrant person, now older and less physically and mentally capable, may bring on mixed emotions. Don’t let your own sadness be the reason you don’t bring someone else happiness. Your visit may be the highlight of their week or month. Put your hesitations aside and make the most of your visit. It’s up to you to make it a happy one!

Other people visit less often than I do.

This isn’t a contest and no one is keeping score. Sure, you may have siblings or relatives that visit even less often than you do. That is all the more reason for you to visit more often, to ensure your loved one has regular visitors.

They have plenty of friends in their community.

If your loved one has forged friendships with other people in their retirement community, that’s great! However, these relationships do not replace those of close friends and family who have known them all their life. Your presence is still very much needed and appreciated.

Do you find yourself making excuses for not visiting an aging loved one more often? Leave a comment or ask a question!